Hocus Pocus IRL: The Witches Of Brooklyn Are Holding A "Mass Hex Event" For Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh
MASHABLE – The United States Senate was never really interested in holding Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh accountable after multiple women accused him of sexual assault and harassment. The witches of America are.
Catland Books, an occult bookshop and community space in Brooklyn, has organized not one but two mass hexes on Kavanaugh. According to an Eventbrite page for the hex, the organizers say they plan to target the newly appointed justice as well as “all rapists and the patriarchy which emboldens, rewards and protects them.”
“We will be embracing witchcraft’s true roots as the magik of the poor, the downtrodden and disenfranchised and it’s[sic] history as often the only weapon, the only means of exacting justice available to those of us who have been wronged by men just like him,” the organizers wrote.
Did somebody say….
Mass Hex Event?
Folks, it’s Halloween. As if American Politics weren’t spooky enough, we’re now bringing true, evil supernatural forces into the mix. But let’s be clear right off the bat: this is not about politics. This isn’t about Right or Left. In fact, this is something that I truly believe both sides of the aisle can come together on: black magic is motherfucking terrifying. The greatest trick witches ever pulled was making the world think they were some silly costume idea, nothing but a harmless figment of your imagination.
They successfully turned the tide of public opinion to believe the Salem Witch Trials were a grave injustice towards innocent people. All while laying in the shadows with their vats and potions and frog legs and virgin blood waiting to fuck shit up. And now they’ve got a new target in the cross-stitching of their broomsticks.
As Francis expertly illustrated for 7 minutes and 35 seconds on Barstool Sports, Brett Kavanaugh got off scot free from all the allegations against him…
…or so he thought.
The first of the two events, scheduled for October 20, attracted enormous attention with more than 14,000 people expressing interest on Facebook. To accommodate more people, Catland added an additional mass hex event for November 3.
The event costs $10 to attend, and 50 percent of sales for both nights will benefit Planned Parenthood, the Ali Forney Center, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and the Sylvia Rivera Law Project.
“He will be the focal point, but by no means the only target, so bring your rage and and all of the axes you’ve got to grind. There will also be a second ritual afterward – ‘The Rites of the Scorned One’ which seeks to validate, affirm, uphold and support those of us who have been wronged and who refuse to be silent any longer,” the Eventbrite invitation explains.
You can laugh it off all you want. You can convince yourself that it’s all some childish baloney and there’s nothing to worry about. But when October 20th Eve rolls around and the black cloaked witches of Williamsburg slowly gather around their powders and potions and voodoo dolls…you can’t tell me you won’t be a little extra anxious as you pound that 14th beer.
Come little Bretty, I’ll take thee away / Into a land of enchantment / Come little Bretty, the times come to play / Here in my garden of magic… Twist the bones and bend the back, Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca, Trim him of his baby fat, Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca, Give him fur black as black…
PS –
Top 5 witches ever:
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2)
1)
